When little Justina was 12 she worked for a man named Jacob Heisman in a southwestern bookstore. Justina’s father wasn’t making much money and decided he could earn a living selling Justina’s little body to black, feminine pedophiles for a little extra cash on the side. As a side benefit, he’d get a book every month, which he could use for carving out and storing crack in for highschool girls with eating disorders (hence Miley Cyrus.) he roped Justina in by telling him to close his eyes and suck on ‘free meat-flavored lollipops’ for all his HARD work. (Yeah, I decided to make a pun. Suck it.) One day, Justina’s dad’s TV broke while watching Laguna Beach, and he was forced to do something other than doing nothing. He glanced across the glass table and saw a recent book sent to him by Jacob, labeled “The Pink Glass Swan.” He didn’t care about feminism, but he reached for it anyway, hoping it’d good for a laugh. He opened the book and read the first 20 pages, but then stopped because there weren’t any sport sections; however, an idea sparked! He could make double the money if Justina was a boy! Because nobody cares about women anyway. He also concluded Justina would whine less if she were more concerned about pubic hair than sucking cock. Her father tried to arrange for a sex change operation on little Justina, but the hospitals were packed. Not wanting to mess with the usual schedule, he tried a more ‘natural’ approach. By mixing average household cleaning agents, Justina would magically grow a penis of her own. The plan horribly backfired, of course. He mixed chlorine, oxyclean, amonia, and electrosol into a plastic bag. He also squirted some colgate toothpaste into the mixture, that way, Justina would grow streamy, thin balls, while still freshening her breath at the same time. Little Justina downed the disgusting mixture, but within a few minutes, she realized she was missing the ’secret ingredient.’ Her father ransacked the medicine cabinet and took all four pills left in the viagra bottle. Realizing the viagra was expired, he knew he was going to have to work EXTRA HARD if he was going to pull off this one. Grabbing Justina by the ankles and rapidly thrusting her down on his cock, he bashed her head against the wall until blood was streaming down Justina’s face. Justina’s dad had a blood fetish, and he came instantly into Justina’s lungs. Hyperventilating through his entire body, his father dropped him, and Justina, by an unimaginably stupid reason of nature, sprouted a 2 inch ‘dick’ but no balls were developed. Also, the mixture did nothing to change his chromosomes. Justina is, for all we know now, a transvestite. Overjoyed, His father planned to tell the Jacob the next day. Unfortunately, he never got to the chance. Jacob was arrested for possession of pornography at his store that sold to the general public. (Which would probably explain what he was doing with that book he sent Justin’s father.) Brokenhearted, and out of work, Justin’s father decided he’d try to squeeze any money he could get off by selling the sad, SAD, story to CNN news. The story was a hit, which is why CNN is hounding him for additional profits by feeding the public his twitter updates that he posts every 5 minutes, when he isn’t at the mall’s bathroom, working. Disney saw their company’s newest hit, and immediately signed him over with a singing contract. Unexpectedly, the cum his dad injected him with dried inside his lungs and attached itself, fusing them together, making his already whoreable voice, even more horrible. But it didn’t matter, Disney just autotuned over it. Problem solved.

There you go.